A bud having gained a Heartbeat
by KokoroHana
Summary: Set after chapter 37. Yuu returned to the humans with Mika and convinced him to stay with them. On the first night at his new "home" Mika has problems to fall asleep and recalls the events of the day...


It was deep in the night. Everyone was asleep. Everyone, except for one. Mika was still awake while lying in bed. He couldn't sleep. He just couldn't find any peace of mind. Although the bed was large enough at least for two, he lay only on one side of the bed, close to the wall, using as little space as possible. The moon was shining through the window.

 _Still can't sleep… This bed… is just uncomfortable… and this room is also too big…_

The room wasn't especially big. It just seemed like that to Mika.

After the third try to sleep on the other side he gave it up. He just didn't feel tired. But above all he didn't like it here.

 _Why am I even here? Only because he wanted to stay with his "friends". We shouldn't really be here… It's dangerous… Just why did he want to return to them, now that he knows the truth? I just don't understand him… This was the best and maybe only chance we had to run away…_

" _We can't run anymore."_

 _I know that we can't run away from them forever, but… We could have still tried… And even if they had found us… I would have done anything to protect him from them…_

 _I only agreed to come with him, because he begged me to help him… That… and because I owed them something…_

He remembered the time he was saved by Shinoa and the others.

 _They saved me… Even though I tried to kill them… They still risked their lives for mine… Without them… I would be dead now…_

 _But still… I only said that we'll save them… I never intended to stay here… with the humans who only want to use us for their own purposes… I really don't like it to be their marionette… Even though he wants me to stay here… I can't…_

The taste of Yuu's blood was still lingering in his mouth. Even though it's been hours since he drank it.

 _His blood… I still can taste it… I wonder if it's because it's my first time drinking human blood…_

He remembered as he took the first sip.

" _Bad tasting", huh?_

He gave a sad smile.

 _I'm such a liar…_

 _But why him? I endured it for four whole years… But at that moment…_

 _I didn't know what I was doing…_

 _I lost control over myself…_

 _I attacked him…_

 _I didn't even recognize him…_

 _I didn't want that…_

 _I swore I would never drink any human blood…_

 _That I would never become one of those… monsters…_

" _Drinking a bit of blood won't turn you into a monster."_

 _Even though he said that… I'm definitely not human anymore… There's nothing left of my humanity now that I drank human blood…_

 _No._

 _I wasn't human anymore even before I drank it._

 _I should have died back then…_

 _But I still continued to live._

Even after all these years it still hurt him to think about how he was brought back to life by force. And he also regretted that he drank Yuu's blood.

 _Why did I do it in the first place? I just wanted to warn him about the humans… I never intended to drink his blood._

 _Just… Why did I give in? Why did I choose to live?_

 _It would have been the best if I had just…_

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Mika remained silent.

He heard that someone slowly opened the door.

"…Mika? Are you awake?"

He heard a familiar voice asking softly.

"…Yeah…"

He responded, not turning around once.

"…Would you… mind… if I sleep in here… tonight?"

Yuu asked hesitantly. He waited a few moments but didn't get an answer. He was about to return to his own bedroom as he heard a quiet voice saying:

"… No."

He closed the door, got into the bed and covered himself with the blanket.

Yuu lay on his back, facing the ceiling while Mika was still lying on the edge of the bed with his face to the wall.

They didn't say anything for a long time. The only thing they heard from each other, was the breathing of the other.

After a while he glanced over to Mika, who was still lying with his back to him.

Although he didn't move at all, Yuu knew he was awake.

"…Still can't sleep?"

He asked, still looking in his direction.

"…No. I can't stand this room. It's too big…"

Mika responded quietly.

"… Four years ago…"

Yuu began, while looking at the ceiling again.

"It was also difficult for me to fall asleep… Every night…"

He paused.

"…I… had nightmares… Of you being killed… right in front of me… While I'm… the only one surviving…"

Mika could hear at the tone of his voice that he still felt guilty about that.

"…It's not your fault. All that happened… I'm responsible for that. I was too naïve. I should have known that it was a trap."

 _I was so stupid._

"I'm the one to blame, not you."

"But… I left you there to die."

Yuu said quietly.

"I told you to, didn't I? I never hold a grudge against you because of that."

"…"

They both remained silent. Neither of them knew what to say. Yuu couldn't help but feel guilty about leaving him behind in order to save his own life and Mika couldn't think of a way to free him from this guilt. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. But he still didn't feel tired.

 _Monsters don't need to sleep…_

"Do you still have them?"

He asked.

"Huh?"

"The nightmares."

"… No. I don't know why but… They suddenly stopped as I met my friends…"

"… Tell me about them."

Yuu was caught off guard by what he said just now. He glanced over to him with an irritated expression on his face.

"Huh?"

"These four humans… Tell me about them."

He couldn't believe that Mika seriously wanted to know about the others. He didn't seem to like them much.

"Why?"

"I can't sleep… Just… talk about something…Okay?"

Mika didn't like silence. He thought if he would hear Yuu's voice it would be easier to fall asleep. And he also wanted to know about his so called "friends" although he didn't want to admit it.

After a short while of silence, Yuu looked back at the ceiling again.

"The first time I met them was in Shibuya. As a punishment I had to attend a school there for disobeying orders. Again. That idiot Guren didn't want to let me join the army as long as I don't have at least one friend. For that reason I had to go to school.

I didn't want any friends.

After losing you… I was afraid of losing someone dear to me again… So I acted distant from the others.

The only thing I lived for was revenge against those bloodsuckers. And for that… I didn't need any friends."

After a short pause he continued.

"On my first day I met Shinoa, you know, the girl with the scythe. She had to observe me so that I wouldn't do anything stupid. I didn't like her at first. All she did was making sarcastic comments or teasing me. But I got used to that. She's the leader of our squad. Even though she still loves to tease us, she's a great leader and it's fun being with her.

On the same day I also met Yoichi. He's the one who's always nice to everyone. As I first met him he was bullied by some idiots. I helped him to get rid of them. He also wanted to join the army in order to avenge his family which was murdered by vampires.

Somehow… He reminded me of myself. I told him that his family wouldn't want him to take revenge and that he should give up to join the army. But he didn't give up and he became a lot stronger since then.

Shortly after I met Kimizuki. Our first meeting… Well, it didn't go well. I couldn't stand him and he couldn't stand me. So we often got into fights with each other. Although he seemed like a total idiot… He cares deeply for his sick sister. Even though we still fight from time to time, we get along pretty well.

Mitsuba joined us as we became official members of the Moon Demon Squad. I don't know why but she hated me. A lot. Although I didn't anything… Okay, maybe I broke formation a little too often. But that's not a good reason for hating me. But I have the feeling it got better since we first met."

He closed his eyes.

"When I think back… We really became a great… team… Although I didn't like the thought of having a… family again…

I really started to think… of them as… family…

Mika couldn't hear anything from him anymore, except for his steady breathing. He opened his eyes again.

 _He's so quiet all of a sudden… Did he fall asleep?_

Mika turned around to face him and saw that Yuu really did fall asleep.

 _Out like a light, huh?_

He remembered the way he talked about his friends.

… _They're really important to him…_

His gaze fell on the patch on his neck. Hiding the bite marks.

 _Even though he said it didn´t hurt… It must have been painful… He just didn't admit it, so I wouldn't feel bad…_

His gaze wandered from his neck to his sleeping face.

 _I wonder… Why I'm feeling so relaxed right now…_

He watched him for a few minutes. He didn't know why… but it calmed him down to watch him sleep…

The sound of his soft breathing…

His face when he's asleep…

 _All of a sudden… this room… doesn't seem so big anymore… And this bed… feels a lot more comfortable now… Is it because of him?_

He watched him a little longer, not averting his gaze even once. Suddenly he started to feel sleepy. It was the first time on that night that he felt tired.

He slowly closed his eyes.

* * *

It was very dark in the room, except for the moon which was still shining through the window. However, the only things that could be seen were the bed and a small part of the room. The rest was pitch-dark.

Yuu slowly opened his eyes again. He looked at the ceiling. It took him a few seconds to get fully awake. He wondered when he fell asleep.

After a while he noticed that something was lying right beside him.

He turned his head to the left and realized that Mika lay right beside his face, they're foreheads almost touching. His eyes were closed.

Yuu looked at him for a moment before asking with a soft voice:

"Mika? Is something the matter?"

Mika didn't respond, so he suggested that he was sleeping. He turned his head around again, looking at the ceiling. He was about to close his eyes again, as he heard a quiet voice saying:

"… I'm cold…"

"… Do you want more of the blanket?"

Yuu asked looking at him.

"No… it's okay…"

Mika responded quietly with his eyes still closed. After a few seconds he asked:

"…Do you… mind?"

"…No."

He really didn't mind. He actually thought that it felt nice to have him so close to him. To feel his warmth. To feel his breath on his skin.

 _Now that I think about it… It's the first time we sleep in the same bed… Back then… in the vampire city, we didn't have something like that… But we still slept close to each other… I should be used to that but… It still seems… different… from back then… I wonder why…_

"Yuu-Chan?"

Yuu was pulled out of his thoughts by Mika.

"Hm?"

"Say… Is it really okay… For me… to be here?"

He was caught off guard with this question.

"Why shouldn't it be okay?"

"… I'm a monster…"

Mika whispered.

"I told you already that you're not a monster, didn't I?"

"…"

"Why do you think that anyway? Because you became a vampire? Because you drank my blood to stay alive or your eyes changed colour?"

"…"

"These are not things which make someone a monster. It's not that easy. Only because you're a vampire now doesn't mean you're one of them."

"Then what is the difference between me and the other vampires?"

Mika asked, with his eyes now open, looking at Yuu.

"I have fangs, I have the eyes, I'm way stronger than humans, I'm almost immortal…"

He averted his gaze.

"… I stopped aging."

He whispered.

After a moment of silence he looked at Yuu with a sad smile and said:

"There's no difference."

Yuu sighed.

"Listen. There are a lot of differences. You're not like them."

"But-"

Mika began but was interrupted by Yuu.

"Appearance doesn't count."

"…"

"They're arrogant, they only see humans as livestock, they're looking down on them… Everything they do is taking everything away from us. They don't give a damn about humans."

He paused.

"You're not like them, Mika."

"…And what if I change? What if I… become like that one day?"

Mika asked, averting his gaze.

"That'll never happen."

"And how do you know that? How can you be so sure about that?"

He asked, looking at him again.

They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds, before Yuu said while smiling at him:

"Because I know you, idiot. I know you'll never become one of them. Besides… I would never let that happen."

"…"

Yuu saw on his face that his answer didn't convince him but before he could say anything, Mika spoke:

"So… According to you I'm not a monster and… I'm not one of those vampires either. But I'm also not human anymore. Then…"

He paused.

"… What am I?"

He asked with a quiet voice.

"By drinking your blood… I lost the last bit of my humanity… There's nothing left of it…"

Yuu stared at him silently for a few seconds.

"…What?"

Mika asked, feeling a bit uncomfortable being stared at.

"I don't see it."

"See what?"

"The difference. The difference between you back then and now. Sure your appearance changed, but you're still the same like before. You laugh, you smile, you cry… You still seem pretty much human to me."

He looked at the ceiling.

"I don't get it why you're making such a big deal out of it. It's fine if you're not physically human anymore. You don't have to. You didn't change that much in those four years. You're still Mika. And that's all that matters to me."

Yuu turned his around to look at him again and saw that tears were streaming down Mika's cheek.

"M- Mika, what's wrong?!"

He asked with a worried voice.

"Huh?"

Only now Mika noticed that he was crying.

"S-sorry… I-It's nothing. I'm okay."

He said while wiping away his tears.

 _Dammit… They won't stop…_

Yuu watched him as he was trying to stop his tears.

 _He never seemed like someone who cries easily… He really… had to endure a lot the past four years, huh?_

He remained silent, because he didn't know what to say.

A few minutes passed until Mika stopped crying.

"Do you feel better now?"

Yuu asked him.

"…Yeah. Sorry."

"It's okay."

He said while looking at him. He still had to get used to his red eyes. It really surprised him as they suddenly turned red after he drank his blood. Although he didn't mind if they're red or blue as long as Mika is alive.

"Yuu-Chan?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you want to sleep here?"

"…Because I… assumed that you probably couldn't sleep so I… thought that I could keep you company."

Yuu said hesitantly, avoiding eye contact.

Mika looked at him for a few seconds before saying:

"You know, I can tell when you're lying."

"…"

He turned his head around and looked at the ceiling. At the corner of his eye he could see that Mika was still looking at him.

"…Okay. You're right. That's not the actual reason."

He said quietly after a few seconds.

He took a deep breath.

"The truth is I couldn't sleep. I… was afraid that you…"

Yuu turned his head to the other side, turning slight red.

"Would run away on your own… and disappear from my sight again… So I… wanted to make sure that you'll… stay… by my side."

Mika looked at him for a moment. He didn't expect this answer. He didn't know what to say so he remained silent.

Yuu began to feel uncomfortable because he didn't say anything.

"…Say something."

He said quietly.

After a moment of silence Mika said:

"You know, I…"

He smiled.

"Never expected you to say something so… emotional."

He couldn't see it but Yuu was turning bright red.

"S-S-Shut up."

He murmured.

Mika laughed at his reaction.

"You really changed. You really aren't that cry baby from before anymore."

"Like I said I wasn't a cry baby! You never saw me cry!"

Mika gave a sad smile.

"… Yes I did."

He said so quietly Yuu didn't understand what he said.

"What?"

He turned his head around and looked at him.

Mika looked him in the eyes and said with the same quiet voice:

"… I saw you cry… Back then as I… almost died… You cried… I never saw you cry before…"

"…"

Yuu remembered how desperate he was in that moment as Mika was lying in his arms, streaming with blood… And how much he wanted to take him with him… Away from that place… To the outside world. But he wasn't able to.

 _I was weak…_

He averted his gaze. Mika was still looking at him and said quietly:

"Now that I finally had a family."

"Huh?"

Their eyes met. Mika gave him a warm smile.

"On this day you called us a family for the first time. It made me really happy to hear that."

Yuu stared at him for a few seconds before saying:

"…Sorry that I never told you that before... Even though you gave me so much…"

"I did nothing."

He said while breaking the gaze.

"Of course you did. You gave me everything. Without you…"

He paused while Mika looked at him again.

"Without you I wouldn't be who I am."

"…"

"You were the one who gave me a family. You were the first who wanted me in his life…. You always…. wanted me. If it weren't for you… I still would be a loner. Without you… I… wouldn't be alive anymore.

I… owe you my life.

Thank you, Mika"

Yuu said while looking into his eyes. Neither of them broke the gaze. They just lay there beside each other, with their foreheads almost touching. They could feel the breath of one another on their skin.

After a while Mika gave a genuine smile, closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against his.

Yuu was surprised by this sudden gesture but he didn't disliked it.

He watched him for a few seconds.

"Hey… Are you still cold?"

He asked quietly.

"…No. I'm just… tired. Let me sleep."

He said sleepily.

 _He's really warm… Didn't feel that kind of warmth for years… Don't know what this is but… It's a nice… feeling…_

Yuu watched him a little while longer.

 _He's warm… I… like this kind of warmth… It feels nice…_

With each minute that passed Yuu got more tired. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

After a while Mika opened his again and looked at Yuu who had fallen asleep already.

 _Does he always fall asleep so fast? To even sleep with a vampire… with a monster in one bed… he really…_

" _You still seem pretty much human to me."_

He remembered Yuu's words from earlier.

"… Because of you, Yuu-Chan."

He whispered while looking at his sleeping face.

"I don't know why but… When I'm with you… I… feel like I'm still human…It's strange isn't it?

It's the first time since I become a vampire… That I feel like… this…"

He paused for a few seconds before whispering with a smile:

"Thank you, Yuu-Chan. For giving me the feeling of being human again."

Yuu didn't respond. He was sound asleep. He didn't hear what Mika had said to him. But he didn't mind. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep while he could still taste Yuu's blood in his mouth.

 _I still wonder why I drank his blood… It wasn't because I wanted to live… I wanted to die… So why did I still-_

" _No matter what you become we'll always be family."_

As these words popped into his mind again he smiled.

… _He said we're family… Regardless of what I become… That's why… Because he… said that… In that moment I… wanted to live._

He slowly drifted off to sleep with Yuu right beside him and the feeling of being human again.


End file.
